Nine Things That Are Not Other Things

Somewhat inspired by Lunches with Brian. I want salt at Asian restaurants, and my friend Brian suggests soy sauce. Soy sauce is not salt. That was the beginning.

Performed by Kim Novak

Music and lyrics written by Kim Novak. Bass, Keyboard and vocals by Kim Novak.


  • Lady Bird Lake is not a lake.
  • Vanilla Ice Cream, Chocolate Syrup and soda is not a Chocolate Ice Cream Soda.
  • Store brand cola is not Coca Cola.
  • A water pillow is not a water bed.
  • A Salted Caramel Signature Hot Chocolate with espresso shots is not a Mocha with Whole Milk and Salted Caramel on top.
  • Margarine is not butter and Cool Whip is not Whipped Cream.
  • Soy Sauce is not Salt.
  • When I told this to a beautiful girl, she replied, “Miracle Whip is not Mayonnaise.”